Thursday, January 27, 2011

It'll be alright again!

It is 11:30 in the afternoon. I have taken the kids to school, cleaned my mother's house, ran a mile on the treadmill and came home and cleaned my house. The house is quiet...I don't have Graci bouncing up and down wanting to do some sort of project and I don't have to come up with a list of things to do for the day for Christian's "table time" and "play time." I hear nothing but the dryer running as everything sets neatly in its place. I once dreamt of having days to myself without the noise and chaos of two small kids running around messing up things as I cleaned the house or begged for me to play with them throughout the day. I have been in denial realizing that my kids are growing up. They have went from being with me all day in their sheltered home to venturing out into a life of their own. I have spent the last 30 minutes crying because they won't be at home with me all the time anymore and so many changes are taking place.

I couldn't wait for all the therapy Christian received at home come to an end. The endless weeks of having three types of therapy with three different therapists and having to stress out making sure all of Christian's work got done everyday got old. When Graci started school it made his activities so much harder. She kept him motivated and could always make things fun for him. The last two months he had therapy at home, I was literally counting down the weeks till it ended. It was a challenge to get him to participate in anything, I was ready for him to try something new. Hoping it would get him motivated again. Now that he is in school I am sad. I am not there to see what goes on for myself everyday. I know me not being there is probably better this way, because I won't always be able to be with him as he continues to grow up. But it is still hard to let go.....

I know my babies haven't let me forever. However, it is a the first step towards their independence. Knowing they will come back home and they haven't completely left me. But unless it is a Holiday or being out on break, things will never be the same. This may of went easier for me if two weeks after Graci's first day of Kindergarten I didn't start the transitioning process of Christian going to preschool in December.  But Graci had to go and Christian needed to go...and that is just the way it is whether I like it or not.

Now comes the challenging part of having my own independence and figuring out what I am going to do when my kids are at school. I can't be a stay at home mom if my kids aren't home. My husband and I love our kids, but we do not want anymore! There are a hundred reasons why! We are making sure that more don't happen. We have two beautiful HEALTHY children and we DO NOT want to push our luck and don't want to put more stress on ourselves then we have too.  I know things will work out the way they are meant to, it is just going to take some time to get adjusted and things figured out.

I guess a positive to this whole thing is when they are here I don't care if something in the house is not in its place, if something has been spilt in the floor, if I have to get up to get something for one of the kids (when I have just set down) or if Christian is whining because he simply wants to be held and I am busy doing something. I seem to have a lot more patience then I did and drop what I am doing to tend to them or calmly clean up a mess and laugh about it. For I know it will be calm and quiet again....

Thanks for listening to me vent, it is much better than crying and getting a headache! lol

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

So Proud Of My BIG Boy!

Today was a pretty big day for Mr. Christian because he stayed a WHOLE day at school! I dropped him off at 7:25 (he didn't cry or have a meltdown after I left) and he stayed till 1:30.  This is pretty incredible considering he has only attended 13 days since December 2nd, due to the snow and Holidays.  From here on out I expect him to stay all day, Monday Thur Thursday, unless school is not in session for weather, Holidays, and break of course. I will still transport him to and from school at this point, I don't want to mess up a good thing. I MAY consider him riding the bus when this weather gets better and we can get in a good routine with going to school, but don't hold me to that. Graci likes sleeping in an hour later and getting to walk her Bubby to class and he likes walking with her to her classroom. I let them take turns everyday they go.

Teacher says that he has shown great improvement since he started. Eating, playing, getting in routines, participating and understanding in daily jobs.

I am completely amazed by my son. I underestimated him being able to adjust to school so quickly. It wasn't so much as him his self I was underestimating, but more of the holidays and weather interfering with our routines. But regardless we have come a long way in short amount of time. On his very first day he started screaming as soon as I left and he had meltdowns transitioning from the classroom to other places.

I am so incredibly thankful for his teacher and the rest of the staff at school who comes in contact with him and helps him on day to day basis! I know that the patience, love and care they have given him since the first day he has started has been a huge part in getting him so far, so fast! I could never thank these ladies enough for what they have done and still do for him! They have made this process so much easier on him and myself. I can tell a big change in him since his journey at school began and I now know I made the best decision sending him, even if it was the hardest!

Now lets just hope we keep taking a step forward and not a step back.....

Monday, January 17, 2011

Newborn Hearing Screening

I have recently been obsessed with researching Christian's type of hearing loss and other issues. Well ok, I have always been obsessed but anyway... I found this video on youtube and was shocked when I saw Christian's ENT (Dr. Eavey) featured on it and just wanted to share :) This video is before he came to the Wilkerson Center at Vanderbilt University in Nashville.
I also just wanted to show the importance on the Newborn Hearing Screening. I am thankful this test is mandatory in the state of Kentucky and I think it should be in every state! To the best of my knowledge only 36 states and the District of Columbia only mandate this screening. If Christian hadn't of had this hearing screening done, we might not of ever known he had any type of hearing loss. Most children aren't diagnosed with hearing loss until they have done a hearing screening for school. Although I don't like the fact Christian has hearing loss, I am glad he was diagnosed as early as he was and has been able to get early intervention to help with his speech delay.





Sunday, January 16, 2011

Making Some Progress

I am happy to report that Christian has made some progress with his speech and development this week! It seems as though his progress had plateaued for the past couple of months, but this week he has made a come back from it.

Examples include;

  • Saying "Yay," while clapping his hands.
  • He goes around saying "Hey ya," (which he got off of Jesse on Toy Story 3.)
  • He learned how to suck out of a straw last night! He has it pretty well mastered. His biggest problem is after he sucks the liquid out, he opens his mouth and the liquid falls back out. Not sure what that is about yet. This is a huge milestone, considering we have been "practicing" this for over a year. His biggest problem was not being able to understand he had to close his lips around the straw, but he figured it out! :)
  • He will now stand in front of the bathroom sink and TRY to brush his teeth. After brief attempts of brushing his teeth he will lean into the sink and spit (mainly making noise with his mouth then actually spitting) and say "eww." I still have to lay him on the counter and hold him down (while he screams and kicks) to be sure his teeth are brushed completely. Usually the attempt with him brushing his own teeth ends up with him walking around the house visually self stimulating with his tooth brush and humming. We may not have this skill mastered yet but he is at least using his tooth brush appropriately.
  • He also has four new signs. Grumpy, train, leaf, and boy.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Having Fun In The Snow




Christian did great yesterday at school! I dropped him off at 7:30 he was upset temporarily after I left (but he didn't throw anything like he did Thursday) and he stayed till 12:30. He did his work (even if the teacher had to bribe him with skittles) ate lunch, took his nap (after being rocked in the rocking chair) and overall had a great time! I am thrilled he did great yesterday. However, I was bummed this morning because the kids didn't have school. I mean don't get me wrong. I love having my babies at home with me. But I was afraid if Christian missed today, tomorrow would have him all out of whack at school. Instead of moving a step forward tomorrow, we make take a step back. He doesn't have school on Friday's so he gets a three day weekend and if he did good after three days, surely one day won't hurt nothing. I decided early this morning that I wasn't going to worry about tomorrow and I was going to make the best out of today.

Even though Christian wasn't at school and him and I both are so tired of our "table time" and normal "play time" I decided he was still going to do some educational activities today, even if it wasn't some of our normal activities. What did I choose? Playing in the snow! Now with that said, with Christian's tactile issues he doesn't like to wear clothes, let alone layers of clothes. He doesn't tolerate wind, the cold or snow for very long either. I usually take him out in the snow anyway. It always takes 20 minutes to put all his clothes on (after meltdowns, kicking off shoes, and constantly taking his hat off) but it is all worth it even if he only stays out for 3 minutes. After all he will never experience stuff like this unless we just work through it. Today was no different it still took just as long to get ready, but it was far more worth it this time.  Every year my husband and I take turns pulling each other on a sled with the 4wheeler, along with our daughter. Christian never takes part in this but I was determined to make his "work" fun today! Luckily the wind wasn't blowing to hard and for some reason he seemed to love it outside in the snow today. He ran around in the snow, which was great sensory input giving him good resistance in the slick snow. Once he got a feel of the snow, I placed him in my lap as I set on the sled and my husband pulled us around on the 4wheeler. Christian loved it! I used this opportunity to get Christian to imitate "wee, yay, go daddy go, and snow." For concepts of slow and fast, I said slow and fast when Ben sped up and slowed down on the 4wheeler.  Christian rode for about ten minutes. He didn't want to stop but his hands were red and ice cold (even with me holding them to keep them warm, because he refuses to wear gloves) and I decided his hands had enough and brought him in for his nap.


We had a great time today. Since Ben is working at night this week and is home during the day, we may do this activity again tomorrow if the wind isn't to rough and there isn't any school. Nothing like working on an activity that can be fun for the whole family! :)



Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Preschool Update

The kids went back to school yesterday from Christmas break. It is hard getting back into routine, especially now that I have a 3 year old to get up along with my almost 6 year old. Christian is still having trouble going to sleep at night, he didn't go to sleep until 11:30 Sunday night. Which made it hard for me to get up at four, and made it even harder to have the kids up at six yesterday morning. Which didn't happen, they didn't actually get up until 6:30.  I spent the last 15 minutes that I had to get them ready running around the house like a mad women, trying to get out the door on time. After all the fuss, we made it out of the house on time and arrived at school on time.

Monday, Jan 3rd.

School didn't start off on the right note with Christian yesterday. He screamed in the car most of the way to school. He didn't walk to his class (like he usually does) and he was crying off and on the whole time I was there with him (which is something he has never done). His teacher and I knew it was going to be a rough day for him..... at least it started out that way.

Transitioning from the classroom to the cafeteria was pure awful!!! As soon as this classmates lined up to go eat, he started having a meltdown. So instead of him walking in line with the other kids (like he had done the last two days before break) I had to pack him while he screamed and repeatedly through his body back. Some kids were staring, while other kids were covering their ears. Not that I blame them. His meltdown continued in his highchair, he screamed off and on. Nothing was consoling him....at least not for long. However, he did calm down when his Speech Therapist stopped by to talk to him. It was temporary through, as soon as she left he was throwing a fit again. Leaving was still traumatic, although he did dump his tray quietly with the help of his teacher.  She carried him back to the room while he screamed down the hallway.

We went back into the classroom I stayed for a few minutes, then snuck out at 8:15. I waited and waited for the teacher to call, thinking he would never make it to 10:00, I was wrong! I arrived back at the school at 9:55, one of the aides was bragging on how good he did while I was gone. I sneaked in the room and found him setting on the carpet with the other kids looking at a book. He was very content. He looked up and saw me then walked to me with the most beautiful big smile (like everyday I pick him up) hugged me and said "mama."  I think this is the perfect reward for putting up with his meltdowns. His teacher and Occupational Therapist reported that he did well while I was gone. He had a very brief fit before going to the gym, where he then began to play, and had a great time with his classmates. He let the OT and aide take him to get his diaper changed without a meltdown. He set in the OT 's lap and set with the other kids on the carpet while a story was being read, which I got to witness for myself! His day turned out okay after all. :)

Today...Tuesday, Jan 4th

Well once again Christian stayed up past his bedtime...ending up in bed at 10:30 last night. He didn't want to get up this morning but did better about it considering yesterday morning. I took Christian to his classroom, then walked Graci to hers. I came back to Christian's room immediately, and he was upset that I left. He got over it as soon as he seen me walk back in though. He didn't cry or have any meltdowns leading up to go to breakfast. The letter for the week is S, the kids were asked what sound it made, they replied "Sss" and Christian imitated them! Not only was he paying attention, he also said a new sound! Transitioning from the classroom to the cafeteria was difficult again. He screamed on and off while the other kids ate. He dumped his tray quietly again today with help from his teacher, but I had to carry him back to the classroom due to his meltdown after that. I waited for his attention not to be focused on me then I slipped out and left.  His teacher and I planned that I call her at 10:00 and see how he was doing and go from there. I called at 10:00 and he had done good up to that point and teacher told me to pick him up at 11:00.

So, I made it back a few minutes before 11:00. As I parked my car, I saw Christian's class outside on the playground. Then I saw my son and it broke my heart and I cried! He looked so content and looked to be having a great time (which he was) and it hit me that my baby is growing up.  He looked so small to compare all the other kids but I couldn't be any prouder of him. I went to the office to sign him out and the aide was bragging on him again like yesterday. She said he did great at lunch, no meltdowns and ate some of his food. I went to the classroom to get him and he was content. Once he saw me, he came straight to me with his big beautiful smile and gave me a big hug and said "mama." His teacher reported he had a good day. He let her stick his feet in paint, (for a project) he ate a little at lunch, they had a snow ball fight with waded up paper in the gym and he loved it! He got to work with his Speech Therapist today and that went great as reported. He will stay till 11:00 the next two days and if he does good we will up the time next week.


My view of him from the sidewalk




Christian playing, right before he noticed I was there.

It is only the second day back and he is not only getting back into the swing of things but he made progress with the time he stays as well. There are no words to describe how proud I am of him!